Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The Day Full of Christians
Funny that the day after posting 'Why I'm an Atheist' a customer at work tries to "save" me.
This woman came to me asking if I could help her find anything on Serotonin and so I showed her to where such things were likely to be found. On the way to the section however I noticed that someone's phone was plugged in and sitting on one of the shelves (a common way to get your phone stolen and I HIGHLY discourage it), and I made a comment about how that always makes me nervous because I don't want anyone's phone to get taken. The woman (I shall call her Kris from now on....as in KRIStian) informed me that the cell belonged to the man she was with. As I gestured to were the materials she was looking for were I explained that I'd had my phone stolen before and didn't want to see the same happen to anyone else.
It was at this point that Kris told me I should not be concerned, "because.....hold on, have you accepted Jesus as your lord and savior?"
*stunned silence in my brain followed by the knowledge that I'm at work and am serving this person* "Uh.....no *sees expression on Kris' face* um....sorry"
"Oh baby, don't say sorry to me! Say sorry to *raises arms* Him!"
I then proceeded to try and keep the focus on what she was looking for. I led her to another section but she was still focused on the "miracles" God had done for her. These miracles included Him getting her out of speeding tickets and responding to her question "God, what is going on with me? What's causing these problems?" with 'go and do your research. Look at chemicals in the body." "I kept hearing 'chemicals, chemicals'. So I started my research and now the more I read the more he reveals to me." Now, call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure that by reading and doing massive amounts of research one is almost guaranteed to learn....which reveals new information. Honestly though, what do I know, I'm just a simple college student whose future plans depend on massive amount of knowledge revealing itself......now if someone tells me that if I begin to believe in God then I will no longer have to study because He will give me all the information I need to do exceedingly well then I am SO there!
Now everything listed above is a summary of what was, roughly, an hour and a half of my life. I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable throughout the exchange, counting down the minutes until my work shift ended and I could flee (although I had been thinking about staying an extra bit to get more work done....and more money for my sad bank account). This may sound rather dramatic but the woman kept following me around and I could not tell her to 'quit it' with the God stuff but I had to provide her with customer service so I just kept the smile on my face, nodded a lot, said "That's interesting" or "I'm glad that worked for you" while shuffling my feet and being generally fidgety.
Finally, the clock strikes the golden hour and I'M OUTA THERE! Kristian displayed great regret that I was leaving and expressed her desire to talk to me again- can't waaait, for that visit. Anyway, so I get home and there are people at my house gathered for the regular RPG game, which I'd forgotten about. I also forgot, up until reaching our back porch, that one of the players is super Christian in that 'all these dirty people (gays, non-Christians, Christians that don't believe the way he does) surround me' way. So I come in to vent to my atheist-Dad with a it's my house, my dad, my crazy-Christian stalker, and damn it I can go off if I want to! So I retell the story to may dad, and thus the other players in the room. So Christian RPG player guy was telling me that say "she was trying to save me" was not the proper way to say it, but that's what I heard in my Catholic high school, so *shrug*. Anyway- skipping ahead through me eating and such- the other players left so it was me, Mom, Dad, and Christian RPG player. Mom was under the impression that the woman was schizophrenic, Dad thought I shoulda' told her to leave me alone and couldn't understand why I didn't, the player went on about the disturbing things in the world God 'really' helps with and how women like Kristian ruin the 'truth' about The religion. He then proceeded to go off on homosexuality, especially that on TV....he went on a rant about that disgusting, immoral, un-godly Degrassi and I went into my room to watch 'Loving Annabelle'.
The thing about both of these people is that that seem to me (I don't know either one of them) to be decent human beings.....the problem is I can't be around them without feeling; judged, looked down on, dirty for being near someone who claims such goodness but holds loathing disgust for HUGE groups of people based solely on ignorance and a fear/dislike of tastes/opinions/beliefs that are not entirely their own, feeling anger that someone could be so hateful, feeling massive amounts at discomfort- the kind that one feels when they are next to someone talking to themselves, or yelling at a tree (honestly, it's how I feel, I'm not trying to be insulting; religious people probably feel the same about me).
This blog entry is not exactly how I envisioned it, it's also days late. I think it's the same mix of sarcasm, humor, seriousness, and self-expression as I feel about the whole day.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Why I'm An Atheist
I was once a devout Catholic; at least as 'devout' as a pre-pre teen can be. Over the years I have had people ask me why I am an atheist and I am going to post this answer her because I have decided to use the lovely inter-webs to divulge my deepest,darkest secrets I am going to answer the question here....with the same answer I posted on my facebook a few years ago (with a couple of tweaks to grammar and such)....cuz hey, why not?
1) My mother died when I was two years old. My family told me that she was with the angels, watching over me. This idea comforted me for many years (however at every water fountain, on ever birthday cake, and every shooting star, I wished for her to be alive up until the age of about 11 and nothing ever came of it). There came a point though, after an awful childhood experience, that her “watching over me” was not nearly enough. And I got angry, very angry. If God was real, how could he take my mother from me? How could he tear my family apart through her death (my family was catapulted into a horrible custody battle over who should have me. My mother was 21 and had no will). How could he let me live in the awful circumstances I was forced to live in? Why did he give me a father that couldn’t be a dad if his life depended on it? These were questions that began to haunt me, and seep into my nightmares.
2) When these circumstances arose, I asked the above questions (to priests, and family members). I received some of the most helpful, and descriptive answers of my life; “God has a plan” and “God has a reason for everything”. Now, if you’ve just come to the realization that your mother is gone, and never coming back, would someone telling you (in my opinion) God killed your mom for a reason, really help you heal at all? The answer, no. *NOTE* I am aware that some people do feel comforted by these sentiments and mean no disrespect at all. If religion is helpful to you then you are very lucky to feel so. I feel such statements are as helpful and comforting as giving me a bandaid for a gunshot wound.
3) My biological father’s mother was a very religious person. She was one of the people fighting in the custody battle. There came a point, when I was ten, that I told her that I wanted to stay living with my aunt/mom and uncle/dad (my mom's sister and her husband- my parents in every respect). I told her that I wanted to love her but that it hurt me that she never listened to what I wanted. She got extremely angry with me and started talking about religion, telling me that God would send me to live with her, that she would have me as her own, and how bad my parents were. Needles to say, I was shocked and hurt. This was not the first time she used God to try and convince me that she was right “doing God’s will” and such. It was, however, the first time that she blamed me for all the fighting….right, because a ten year old has complete control over adults' actions. I told her that she was hurting me, and that God wouldn’t want her to keep doing this to me. The rest I will leave out, but the conversation ended very badly and she never called me again.
4) Hypocrisy. There is too much of it. I could go on and on with examples from the past, and present. If you’d really like to hear some stories, just ask me.
5) I am a very liberal minded person. I do not judge people based on anything except the decency of a human being. The Church, at large, I have found to be; judgmental, exclusive, hypocritical, and prejudice to the point of twisting, what should be (and is on it’s own) a beautiful work, the Bible, to make it discriminatory, cruel, and hideous.
So these are my reasons for why I am not Catholic and the explanation of my religious cynicism.
-Enjoy and ponder the meaning of life
1) My mother died when I was two years old. My family told me that she was with the angels, watching over me. This idea comforted me for many years (however at every water fountain, on ever birthday cake, and every shooting star, I wished for her to be alive up until the age of about 11 and nothing ever came of it). There came a point though, after an awful childhood experience, that her “watching over me” was not nearly enough. And I got angry, very angry. If God was real, how could he take my mother from me? How could he tear my family apart through her death (my family was catapulted into a horrible custody battle over who should have me. My mother was 21 and had no will). How could he let me live in the awful circumstances I was forced to live in? Why did he give me a father that couldn’t be a dad if his life depended on it? These were questions that began to haunt me, and seep into my nightmares.
2) When these circumstances arose, I asked the above questions (to priests, and family members). I received some of the most helpful, and descriptive answers of my life; “God has a plan” and “God has a reason for everything”. Now, if you’ve just come to the realization that your mother is gone, and never coming back, would someone telling you (in my opinion) God killed your mom for a reason, really help you heal at all? The answer, no. *NOTE* I am aware that some people do feel comforted by these sentiments and mean no disrespect at all. If religion is helpful to you then you are very lucky to feel so. I feel such statements are as helpful and comforting as giving me a bandaid for a gunshot wound.
3) My biological father’s mother was a very religious person. She was one of the people fighting in the custody battle. There came a point, when I was ten, that I told her that I wanted to stay living with my aunt/mom and uncle/dad (my mom's sister and her husband- my parents in every respect). I told her that I wanted to love her but that it hurt me that she never listened to what I wanted. She got extremely angry with me and started talking about religion, telling me that God would send me to live with her, that she would have me as her own, and how bad my parents were. Needles to say, I was shocked and hurt. This was not the first time she used God to try and convince me that she was right “doing God’s will” and such. It was, however, the first time that she blamed me for all the fighting….right, because a ten year old has complete control over adults' actions. I told her that she was hurting me, and that God wouldn’t want her to keep doing this to me. The rest I will leave out, but the conversation ended very badly and she never called me again.
4) Hypocrisy. There is too much of it. I could go on and on with examples from the past, and present. If you’d really like to hear some stories, just ask me.
5) I am a very liberal minded person. I do not judge people based on anything except the decency of a human being. The Church, at large, I have found to be; judgmental, exclusive, hypocritical, and prejudice to the point of twisting, what should be (and is on it’s own) a beautiful work, the Bible, to make it discriminatory, cruel, and hideous.
So these are my reasons for why I am not Catholic and the explanation of my religious cynicism.
-Enjoy and ponder the meaning of life
The so-called 'Fourth Harry Potter' movie
I am a Harry Potter fan. My parents read the Harry Potter books to and with me and I was one of the mega geeks standing in line, with bated breath, every time, for the newest installment in the series.
When the movies came out I was 10 years old and very eager to see them....once again being the person waiting for the midnight showings. As a child I really enjoyed the first two....two or three....movies. The fourth movie was painful to watch. I was angry in the theater and the MOMENT the movie ended I went on my rant.
Forget about the fact that all of the important events in the book were left out of the movie, making it nothing more than a movie about a magical triathlon, but it did not even succeed in that endeavor! The Maze. All I could think about for days was that stupid maze! It should have been the most exciting bit in the movie....it could have given me a feeling other than horror at the creation of such a film. But no. Instead of giving me some source of entertainment the scene merely made me despise the movie completely- it added to my suffering, it crushed the Harry Potter movie lover in me.
The maze in the book has tests of the contestants' minds and magical talents. The maze in the movie it....ate people? ARE...YOU...SERIOUS! Vines come out of the ground and suck people in and attempt to grab the contestants as they run to the Cup. Very impressive way for them to depict what tripping in the magical world looks like but I'm rather accustomed to stumbling over shrubs in the 'real world' and don't have the burning need to pay to see a CGI version of it.
Apart from the fact that I am/was an avid Harry Potter book fan, and thus had to be disappointed in the movie for it's faithfulness to the book and the failure to feed my need for a well formed scene, the movie had no flow, no plot. Instead of retelling the story the film gave an overview of what happened. It felt like the director and screen writers had that high school (and college) 'oh shit' moment where they had been procrastinating and through the movie together at the last moment yelling back and forth things like; "Quick! We forgot about that one kid that was supposed be doing that thing!", "Okay, now that guy dies....don't worry about it they'll figure it out!". While watching the movie I could hear a voice in my head summarizing the book;
There's a big tournament all the characters go to and when it ends death eaters show up and everyone starts running around screaming and then a guy shoots a symbol up into the air and these ministry-type guys appear and are very angry and accusatory and there's more yelling followed by people returning home and more panicking. The students finally get to school and discover that theirs a big tournament going on throughout the school year that is very dangerous and has resulted in deaths in the past. Harry gets chosen and Ron gets angry at him and they don't talk. The first event takes place, Harry and Ron make up, there's a ball, another event and then the last event which takes Harry and another kid to a cemetery where the dreaded Voldemort is waiting to use Harry in a ritual which will restore him to his former glory. The other kid dies and Harry and Voldemort fight, Harry gets back to school and then this teacher that's been helping him takes him away and reveals his evilness.
This brilliant movie then ends with the very moving question from Hermione, "Everything is going to change now isn't it?" to which Harry responds with a very simple "yes" and they proceed to joke about not writing to each other the summer of the return of the most evil and feared wizard of all-time.
The description above is exactly how I saw and heard the movie; meaningless and dry. Voldemort returns but there is no emotion, no reaction from the characters who have been dreading this movement.
*takes a breath* well.....that's my rant for the fourth HP movie. Took a lot longer to type out here than it does for me to go off when it comes up in conversation. My rant for one aspect of the 3rd movie, strongly tied to my rant about the 7th movie, tends to be much louder and probably slightly incoherent.
When the movies came out I was 10 years old and very eager to see them....once again being the person waiting for the midnight showings. As a child I really enjoyed the first two....two or three....movies. The fourth movie was painful to watch. I was angry in the theater and the MOMENT the movie ended I went on my rant.
Forget about the fact that all of the important events in the book were left out of the movie, making it nothing more than a movie about a magical triathlon, but it did not even succeed in that endeavor! The Maze. All I could think about for days was that stupid maze! It should have been the most exciting bit in the movie....it could have given me a feeling other than horror at the creation of such a film. But no. Instead of giving me some source of entertainment the scene merely made me despise the movie completely- it added to my suffering, it crushed the Harry Potter movie lover in me.
The maze in the book has tests of the contestants' minds and magical talents. The maze in the movie it....ate people? ARE...YOU...SERIOUS! Vines come out of the ground and suck people in and attempt to grab the contestants as they run to the Cup. Very impressive way for them to depict what tripping in the magical world looks like but I'm rather accustomed to stumbling over shrubs in the 'real world' and don't have the burning need to pay to see a CGI version of it.
Apart from the fact that I am/was an avid Harry Potter book fan, and thus had to be disappointed in the movie for it's faithfulness to the book and the failure to feed my need for a well formed scene, the movie had no flow, no plot. Instead of retelling the story the film gave an overview of what happened. It felt like the director and screen writers had that high school (and college) 'oh shit' moment where they had been procrastinating and through the movie together at the last moment yelling back and forth things like; "Quick! We forgot about that one kid that was supposed be doing that thing!", "Okay, now that guy dies....don't worry about it they'll figure it out!". While watching the movie I could hear a voice in my head summarizing the book;
There's a big tournament all the characters go to and when it ends death eaters show up and everyone starts running around screaming and then a guy shoots a symbol up into the air and these ministry-type guys appear and are very angry and accusatory and there's more yelling followed by people returning home and more panicking. The students finally get to school and discover that theirs a big tournament going on throughout the school year that is very dangerous and has resulted in deaths in the past. Harry gets chosen and Ron gets angry at him and they don't talk. The first event takes place, Harry and Ron make up, there's a ball, another event and then the last event which takes Harry and another kid to a cemetery where the dreaded Voldemort is waiting to use Harry in a ritual which will restore him to his former glory. The other kid dies and Harry and Voldemort fight, Harry gets back to school and then this teacher that's been helping him takes him away and reveals his evilness.
This brilliant movie then ends with the very moving question from Hermione, "Everything is going to change now isn't it?" to which Harry responds with a very simple "yes" and they proceed to joke about not writing to each other the summer of the return of the most evil and feared wizard of all-time.
The description above is exactly how I saw and heard the movie; meaningless and dry. Voldemort returns but there is no emotion, no reaction from the characters who have been dreading this movement.
*takes a breath* well.....that's my rant for the fourth HP movie. Took a lot longer to type out here than it does for me to go off when it comes up in conversation. My rant for one aspect of the 3rd movie, strongly tied to my rant about the 7th movie, tends to be much louder and probably slightly incoherent.
Friday, January 13, 2012
...Here I Sit
So here I am, sitting at my two week old laptop typing on my only hours old blog....perhaps typing to no one. None the less, I know I'm not the only one prone to talking to themselves. I cannot think of anyone in the group of people I'm thinking of that never entertain themselves with their own thought and ingenious ideas.
While this is my first post it will not be my last....not even my last for the night as I have been thinking of starting this here blog for several days and have come up with several items I wish to speak on.
To give the gist of what this blog is about I will tell whoever may have stumbled upon this page that I intend to; rant about movies, people, teachers, bad drivers, and the end of the world, relay my brilliant thoughts and, of course, ponder the meaning of life. I will probably do other things but at the moment can't think of them.....anyway, if you've made it through my profile summary and this first blog, you might as well become my follower and keep up with what is sure to be a gloriously entertaining way to squander time whilst avoiding; work, that annoying person, errands, house cleaning, and that irritating person you are now thinking of.....enjoy
While this is my first post it will not be my last....not even my last for the night as I have been thinking of starting this here blog for several days and have come up with several items I wish to speak on.
To give the gist of what this blog is about I will tell whoever may have stumbled upon this page that I intend to; rant about movies, people, teachers, bad drivers, and the end of the world, relay my brilliant thoughts and, of course, ponder the meaning of life. I will probably do other things but at the moment can't think of them.....anyway, if you've made it through my profile summary and this first blog, you might as well become my follower and keep up with what is sure to be a gloriously entertaining way to squander time whilst avoiding; work, that annoying person, errands, house cleaning, and that irritating person you are now thinking of.....enjoy
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